Official 1968 "Smoke" Rules
Auggie sez TINS!
I wrote these rules while I was a CQ Instructor at VT-4 in 1968. This was how we played it. I'm sure there are local variations in the rules. The most important thing is what ever the variations, they must be agreed upon by all participants before play is started.
- 1. The dealer (distributor) hands out 5 cards (tickets) to each participant.
- One ticket at a time.
- No one may touch (fondle) or pick up their tickets until all 5 tickets are distributed.
- Somewhere int the midst of distributing the tickets, the distributor will flip over a ticket and that suit (brand) will determine "Smoke".
- After each participant "gathers" in their tickets, and looks at them, the distributor will start on his left and ask each participant how many tickets they would like to draw in place of their discards.
- You may also throw in all five tickets and gather a new "mitt."
- If you take cards, you are a player.
- This is the point in which a participant decides whether to play or sit out.
- Bear in mind, that you are allowed only two "sits" in a row and then you must play (a Mustie).
- Quite obvious that if a player has "smoke" (trump) in his hand he won't sit out.
- 2. After all this is done, play is ready to begin.
- The first player to the left of the dealer who stayed, (under the gun) throws out his highest "smoke" card. This is mandatory.
- If this first person doen't have any "smoke" he says so and it moves to the next player.
- Each player that stayed then follows in turn by throwing out a card of the same suit.
- YOU MUST FOLLOW SUIT.
- Except after the first round you may trump at any time instead of following suit.
- If you are out of a suit, you may sluff off instead of playing "smoke."
- The important things to remember are:
- A. You must follow suit on the first round.
- B. You may play "smoke" at any time.
- C. If out of a suit you may sluff off and not play "smoke".
- Each round there are five (5) tricks available.
- Each player that stayed must take at least one trick or he goes up five points.
- Kind of obvious that if you have 6 or 7 players and they all stay someone isn't gonna take a trick.
- Any reneges, play out of turn, misplays, miss calls of cards etc, exposed tickets, etc., etc., etc., results in an automatic 5 point pickup in that persons score. NO EXCEPTIONS.
- However, table talk is encourage.
- At any time the players can vote thumbs up or down whether to raise a persons score if it is marginal what the infraction was.
- Each person starts out with 10 points against them.
- Each person tries to reduce this down to zero by the number of tricks he takes.
- One trick being worth one point.
- When a person gets down to two points they become "in the box."
- They must then play every hand and they can not sit out.
- They do this until they either win or go back above two points. Same as you can only "sit" twice and then you must play.
THE SCORE KEEPER:
- Is determined by who takes the first trick.
- At the end of each hand, he must read out in a loud, clear voice the scores (tally). It will go like this, "attention to tally". Then in a clockwise manner he reads each player's name, his tally, and his trend, (going up or coming down), the number of sits and whether a person is "must play' (mustie), or "in the box" (two or less). Scoring is a bitch.....
and so forth.
- Jim - 6 coming down, going up or steady (his trend)
- Bud - One sit
- Whiz - 9 had two sets, is a mustie
- Tom - 2 in the box
- Puresome - 14, never, never land
- Remember to give the trend so each player can tell how they are doing.
- All players try to team up against the person or persons with the low scores while looking out for themselves.
- Table talk is highly encourage but the jargon better be correct.
- You can lie about laying off a trick to a player and then taking the trick etc. Which brings us to the most important part . . .
- You must not use any term that refers to cards, suites, or things in conjunction with the playing of cards.
- All substituted words must be fully understood by all the players. Again, no exceptions.
- So it would behoove you to familiarize yourself with the jargon as any mistake will cost you 5 points.
- Hearts- Bleeders or thumpers
- Spades- Diggers
- Clubs- Puppyfeet
- Diamonds- Sparklers
- Ace- Pin, Boss, Big One
- Two- Wee one
- Three- Trey, one above the Wee one
- Four- Little Joe
- Five- Nickel, Fever, one above Little Joe
- Six- Bottom Loop, Lower Bubble
- Seven- Buggy Top, Whip
- Eight- Double Bubble, double nuts, double asshole
- Nine- Upper Loop, upper bubble
- Ten- Tracks
- Jack- Hook
- Queen- Tits, old lady, whore
- King- Kack, big boy
- Cards- Tickets, papes, paper
- Card Table- Mesa, felt, slab, board
- Score- tally
- Dealer- Distributor
- Players- Participants
- Hand- Mitt, glove
- Trump- Smoke